


My Burden

by WhisperingKage



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-23
Updated: 2012-06-23
Packaged: 2017-11-08 08:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/441367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingKage/pseuds/WhisperingKage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When people look at Lord Sesshomaru they see only one thing. A cold heartless bastard. Very few can see past this facade and the one who can he can't have. Such is his burden of being Lord of the Western lands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Burden

Sesshomaru glared at the lands that spread before his still form from his perch on the hill. They were his lands and the case for his current displeasure because of them he had to always be on his guard lest he forfeit his life. Because of them he could not act how he wanted to be he had to be calm and collected. Because of them he could not act on his own desire unless it benefited his lands and those that lived on them. Because of his lands he could not have her.   
  
The woman who was plaguing his mind and had been since the first time he had seen her. Small and fragile looking yet with a will so strong it had shocked him, the Sesshomaru, into silence. She was the only to insult, attack, and touch him without his permission and live to tell about it not that she did. She was the only one to gain his curiosity and keep it, for every time he saw her she peeked it again. She was truly an enigma, every time he thought he had her remotely figured out she threw him for a loop.   
  
She was the only woman to gain his respect and keep it, though she was not physically strong she was strong willed and extremely smart for one her age, and of her kind, one who, if she was normal, would have been wed and had five pups trailing behind her by now. That thought alone irked him and he did not know why. Then again he knew she would never be as weak willed as others her age and sex.   
  
Her will, it was another thing that sparked his interest, it was so strong for one her size and she was not afraid to speak her mind. She had in fact done so to him on many occasions. He quite fondly remembered one of her lectures about equality, as foolish as she was to preach to him about that, she did so with zealous. The thing that awed him the most was that she practiced what she preached unlike many other of her kind.   
  
She treated everyone, man, woman, child, human, hanyou, and demon the same, until they did something to warrant her anger. She had gone so far as to adopt a demon child, something that was unheard of even among youkai society, for most youkai it was a kill or be killed world, yet she a mere human had adopted a youkai child. It was so rare that it was talked about throughout the lands, for not only was she a human but she was a miko, mikos were the sworn enemies of youkai young and old alike, yet she took him and cared for him like he was born of her own flesh and blood.   
  
It was a feat that had been only been dwarfed by his own, for he, much to his own surprise, had taken in a human child. Once again she was to blame for this, fro after watching how she interacted with not only her kit but her pack, as mixed up as it was, he started to try and see things from her point of view. It was odd and he would admit that it was amusing, it stuck with him.   
  
Especially after his fight, he scoffed at that thought, if he truly wanted to fight and kill his pathetic half brother he would have done it by now, contrary to their beliefs he never fought his half brother with the intent of killing him but training him. As much as he hated to admit it Inu Yasha was part of his family and as such he had to uphold a certain image as well. The odd thing was that she was the only one who had noticed, after their fourth encounter, she no longer inferred feared with their fights unless they, to her, got out of hand.   
  
Which was what had happened with his last training session with his brother, she had tried to interfere but it was far to late. He had been hit with the backlash wave and injured gravely, so much in fact that he saw worry flash in her eyes and they were directed at him of all people as he fled the scene. Looking back on it he mused that she was probably worried about the backlash of Inu Yasha injuring him this badly, for he was one of those who believed in an eye for an eye. None the less he saw the worry clear as day and it was what he thought of the most when he was recovering.   
  
It was probably due to that, that he took on his current ward Rin. She looked and acted how he mused Kagome would have when she was younger. So trusting and caring for others even when she herself was in pain, if he didn't know better and he did he would have assumed they were siblings, that or Rin was her child. At times he fantasized that Rin was her daughter and that by taking care of her and raising her she was his daughter to, that she was their daughter. But then reality would set in and he would scoff at himself for thinking such a thing.   
  
Rin was not their, not his, daughter she was his ward and nothing more. For if she was their daughter she would be a half breed and he himself would have repeated his father's mistake, which lead to not only his death but the shaming of not only their family name but the western lands in a whole. A mistake he vowed to himself and the people of his land to never repeat.   
  
He scowled at that thought, it was because of his lands and the responsibilities that came with them that he had to watch her from afar. Watch as she was constantly hurt and betrayed by his idiot of a half breed brother. Lately thought he noticed that she wasn't as affected by his half bothers constant betrayals as she should have been, for he knew she loved his idiot half brother, she should have been in tears yet she simply sighed and busied herself with something else.   
  
Lately her eyes had followed his form when he appeared in front of her group for training sessions an, his eyes were clouded in amusement, the play dates she arranged for Shippo and Rin. In fact when he really thought about it, these things started happening after he had saved her from that nasty little human Mukoko, Mukusto, or whatever his name was. He was after all dead, felled by his claws at that, and no longer mattered.   
  
He thought back on that day, he recalled it easily, noting the range of emotions that came with it. Anger at seeing what that little man had done to her and was planning to do to her. Disdain for the small man as he tried to weasel his way out of being punished. Surprise and a flooding of warmth as she looked up at him with awed eyes filled with relief, for being saved, happiness, for being saved, and something else that he refused to acknowledge because it would only make things harder.   
  
Even so he still felt that warmth, a feeling he hadn't felt since his mother had actually loved him instead of hating him for what his father had done, showed him a glimpse of what he could have, but never would have. For no matter how much he wanted that life, to act on that warmth he couldn't. Every day he had to fight his instincts as a lord to not clam her as his, because as a lord her had the right to claim anything and anyone he wanted without being questioned. Yet, he was a demon and she a human miko, he would be question if he took her as his.   
  
His people would never accept her and she would be miserable, just like his half bothers mother was. She would have to deal with all the ugly gossip and horrid rumors and while he knew they would not bother her they would eventually take their toll on her. Any children they had would be treated the same way if not worse, they would also not be acknowledged by his lands nor the other lords. He would be forced to have a full blooded Inu pup with a noble bitch, which would no doubt kill her no matter how strong she was.   
  
He sighed. It was better to watch her from afar no matter how much it pained him. He would not put her through that pain. Who would have thought that a mere slip of a girl like her would be the one to cause him so much pain? Yet at the same time bring him so much happiness then he ever thought possible. Happiness was something he had resigned himself to live without. He was a lord, he would live his life devoted to his lands and those that lived on the. Marry a noble bitch, most likely because of politics, and have children just for the sake of having an heir. He never once thought he would encounter happiness in his long life and yet, this mere slip of a girl had brought it to him. For that he would be forever grateful.   
  
He sighed as he got up from his perch, the sky now tinged dark red with the setting sun, and turned his back on his lands to return back to his abode. With each step away from the view he felt his armor come back up. He pushed his emotions back down and became the lord everyone expected him to be. Yet, as he walked away from the sight of his lands he wondered what it would be like to turn his back on them completely and take Kagome as his own.   
  
Yet as soon as he thought it the thought was pushed back down. No matter how much he wanted to, he could not. He lived for his lands and their well being. Not for himself and his wellbeing. Such was the curse of being a leader, of being the lord of the western lands.


End file.
